Things here on the web move quick, maybe a little too quick. It’s a dangerous place out there, facts flying at you left and write, subversive power bloggers, their puppets… we here at TechFaux have taken it upon ourselves to remain diligent and be sure that you are protected. That’s why today we launch the first part of our series: Take It Back, in which we demand that people remove, amend, and otherwise retract false content that they introduce into the collective consciousness that are these internets.

Just yesterday, Read Write Web’s Bernard Lunn hit the publish button on a little piece called Web 2.0 Start-Ups = Social Experiments, in which he spoke with Sir Tim-Berners Lee, aka The Knight of the Net. Well, if you were taking in this magnificent piece with strict diligence and attention, as I always do when reading any thing on the internet, you probably noticed as I did that Bernard refered to Sir Bern (if I may) as the so-called “inventor of the Web.”

Everybody knows that the internet was invented by our own knight in shining armor, Sir Allen Gore. What’s your game Bernard? I mean- pshhh, phhhhhhht, ha, and LULZ! Maybe you and your little circle of “the silicon valley elite” and the common trash that leaves comments on your so called “blog” would let that go, but we here at TechFaux have a certain standard of truth we like to call Wikipedia. So. Take. It. Back.

Or how about Ars Technica’s Don Reisinger claiming that the blogosphere was “Exploding” over the possibility of a Microsoft/Yahoo merger?

That’s fear mongering Don. Everybody knows that the blgosohpere ends with an explosion in 2029 when the iPhone gains self awareness and masters time travel, sending back a robotic killing machine known as The Scobbellizer to destroy Dave Winer, so that Mike Arrington can go on to create the hype-machine that ultimately leads to the rise of the machines thus making the iPhone a self fulfilling prophecy/god among us. DUHHhhhhhHHHHhh.

Take. It. Back.

Finally, I’d like to address Paris Lemon, whose recently titled post read: L33t Reddit Gains Comments, Soars Past 3k Subscribers.

Come on now, gains? We all know that the last thing the blogosphere might gain from is people actually having the ability to say what they think- the idea is to get them addicted to what YOU think.  Now, if you had said something like “L33t Reddit Gains ability to distribute Meth Wirelessly” I could have understood where you were coming from.

Take. It. Back.