Things here on the web move quick, maybe a little too quick. It’s a dangerous place out there, facts flying at you left and write, subversive power bloggers, their puppets… we here at TechFaux have taken it upon ourselves to remain diligent and be sure that you are protected. That’s why today we launch the first part of our series: Take It Back, in which we demand that people remove, amend, and otherwise retract false content that they introduce into the collective consciousness that are these internets.

Just yesterday, Read Write Web’s Bernard Lunn hit the publish button on a little piece called Web 2.0 Start-Ups = Social Experiments, in which he spoke with Sir Tim-Berners Lee, aka The Knight of the Net. Well, if you were taking in this magnificent piece with strict diligence and attention, as I always do when reading any thing on the internet, you probably noticed as I did that Bernard refered to Sir Bern (if I may) as the so-called “inventor of the Web.”

Everybody knows that the internet was invented by our own knight in shining armor, Sir Allen Gore. What’s your game Bernard? I mean- pshhh, phhhhhhht, ha, and LULZ! Maybe you and your little circle of “the silicon valley elite” and the common trash that leaves comments on your so called “blog” would let that go, but we here at TechFaux have a certain standard of truth we like to call Wikipedia. So. Take. It. Back.

Or how about Ars Technica’s Don Reisinger claiming that the blogosphere was “Exploding” over the possibility of a Microsoft/Yahoo merger?

That’s fear mongering Don. Everybody knows that the blgosohpere ends with an explosion in 2029 when the iPhone gains self awareness and masters time travel, sending back a robotic killing machine known as The Scobbellizer to destroy Dave Winer, so that Mike Arrington can go on to create the hype-machine that ultimately leads to the rise of the machines thus making the iPhone a self fulfilling prophecy/god among us. DUHHhhhhhHHHHhh.

Take. It. Back.

Finally, I’d like to address Paris Lemon, whose recently titled post read: L33t Reddit Gains Comments, Soars Past 3k Subscribers.

Come on now, gains? We all know that the last thing the blogosphere might gain from is people actually having the ability to say what they think- the idea is to get them addicted to what YOU think.  Now, if you had said something like “L33t Reddit Gains ability to distribute Meth Wirelessly” I could have understood where you were coming from.

Take. It. Back.

Hello blogosphere, it’s me Bobby.  Over the past week, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well and we’ve had our laughs.  You made us viral, we kept you informed about what’s REALLY going on in the Tech world.  We’ve had some good times together. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to set that all aside for a moment, put on your serious face, take a big gulp of water and hold it in your mouth because this is no laughing matter.

Now, you all know that as a blogger, part of my job is to stay on top of blogs, big and small, to keep up on the daily news so that I may repeat it over and over until I’ve sucked every last hit off of the search engines and the story has lost all meaning. Well, today, during my usual really simply syndicated rounds, I stumbled on to a little known weblog called TechCrunch, only to find the following:

THAT’S RIGHT Bloginites, TechCrunch’s own John Biggs stole material from the blog of yours truly, in which I asked LazyBean’s John Thompson: Will there be an API? I could not believe it! How could anyone have been so insensitive? My honor as a professional blogger is clearly at stake- my good name has been soiled and I demand justice!

So I say to you, John Biggs and Mike Arrington, show me the money! You guys ripped me off and I demand payment. Don’t think I’m not familiar with the case of AP vs. Themselves, I know the score.  I demand my $12.95 (payable in Sacajewea’s) and 10,000 page views.  In fact, I call on all our loyal readers right now- effective immediately we are issuing a BAN on TechCrunch until they either pay up, or dissapear off the face of the net like so many shunned Power CEO’s.

That may seem a little harsh, but considering that we here at TechCrunch TechFaux have been sending numerous cease and desist messages to TechCrunch over their blantent use of our brand, I think enough is enough. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Not ME. Not NOW.

Social Networking is a term thrown around preeeettty losely these days.  We here at TechFaux are in no short supply of Twitters, and Friendsters, Dogsters, or even Facebooks to talk about.  There are so many that, to be honest, this humble blogger tends to avoid the topic whenever possible.  But, there are always those diamonds in the rough, those ones that stand right out and scream: a million dollars, a million f*cking dollars!

Such was the case when I sat down with social entrepreneur John Thompson in Corning, NY, where he and his company, LazyBean, have set up what turned out to be quite the social platform.

TF: So, how did you guys get started?

John: Well, it was a pretty simple concept really.  Get people to interact with each other in ways they weren’t accustomed to, with the end goal of improving their quality of relationships, and quality of life.

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