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Facebook Now Available Offline - Might Take Some Getting Used To

time Posted June 24, 2008

Facebook

If offline storage and realtime collaboration is the next step in social computing (as Google, Microsoft, and Adobe seem to believe), then Facebook’s move offline is as logical as it is revolutionary.

But Facebook’s biggest strength in their move offline is actually what I found to be particularly frustrating when testing the product.

Facebook’s “social graph” (their international multi-terabyte database of every person alive, who that person knows, who the people that person knows know, and on and on) is very possibly the coffin nail in their offline toolbox to all possible competitors, but I found the offline implementation of this proprietary technology to be particularly perplexing when offline.

For instance, at a marketing conference last weekend while alpha testing the product, I had the chance to meet a certain well-known marketer and blogger.  We really hit it off, but when the time came to decide the status of our new relationship, I had to first ask her to be my friend.  Then she had to tell the graph how she knew me (”worked together” seemed to be the most accurate response) before we were able to continue our discussion.

Later that night when I came home, I had more marketers and bloggers knocking on my door insisting that I “might know” them.  I was intrigued, so I went through the social process with them, too (I asked to be their friend, they alerted the database to our new connection, and we began to talk shop).

Everything seems pretty fine if a bit difficult to get used to.  Over the past few days when I’ve grabbed post-work drinks at the local tavern with colleagues and friends, the new offline database keeps sending interns who offer to buy me drinks if I fill out a simple survey.

Early adopter as I am, I agree, the drinks are ordered as promised, and after only one or two rounds of werewolf invitations (these come in sealed envelopes and presented by the bouncer), I am able to get back to the lovely post-work conversation.

All in all, it seems like it will prove to be a very powerful and unique service, albeit most “normal people” (not-so-early adopters) might struggle to become used to it.

Filed under: Real News

Virgin Airlines Launches Flight to The Cloudz

time Posted June 24, 2008

You may remember our more recent coverage of Google extending it’s 4-1-1 service to it’s cloud.  At the time, we here at TechFaux were a twitter over how we might see the thing first hand.  Well, today we learned that we can finally stop trying to build our own jet engine, because Virgin Airlines and Google announced that they have built one for us, and TF has been invited to take a test flight!

Before hopping on a Virgin Airship and rocketing toward the cloud, I sat down across a laptop from Walter S. Mossberg, my Personal Technology Columnist, and a close friend, who warned me that since The Cloud was such a powerful atmosphere to exist in, where our normal functions can be completed much more rapidly, I could expect to age at a much faster rate. Expected side effects of this aging could include balding, advanced PC use, irrelevant blogging, a growing feeling of self importance, and a job as a Personal Technology Columnist.

Luckily for me, Virgin has installed a series of satellites that shoot Facebook-blocking WiFi to slow the effects of this process (it also blocks Scobble’s friendfeed).

Update: TF has received this stunning image of the first flight to The Cloud-

Filed under: Real News

Juicyfruitality: The only True Measure of a Social Network’s Worth

time Posted June 23, 2008

juicy fruit

The blogosphere is buzzing today over the valuations of many online social networks and what kind of validity these premoney valuations actually have.

In essence, the arguments break down as such:

  1. We should value social networks in relation to the cash sale of Myspace
  2. We should value social networks in relation to the premoney valuation of Facebook
  3. We should value social networks in relation to corporate giant LinkedIn

However, Techfaux is again one step ahead of your other news sources.

Today we sat down with Kevin Numans of Goldmun Sahks and discussed a revolutionary new way to evaluate social networks.  His theory?  Juicy Fruit.

Why should Juicy Fruit be the foundation of reference for social network value?  “Easy,” says Numans.  “Juicy Fruit has made more money than all of those social networks combined.  You need to base reference variables on the foundation of a large, proven number in order to obtain accuracy with any sample statistic.”

Seems fair enough, since Juicy Fruit was recently purchased by Warren Buffet for the amount of $23 billion dollars.

Below are two of Numans’ presentation slides (click to enlarge) illustrating both previously-sold and premoney social networks, in accordance to their relationship to what he’s calling Juicyfruitality.

This graph depicts the value of a previously-sold Twhirl according to the laws of Juicyfruitality:

twhirl vs juicy fruit

And here’s a side-by-side comparison of social networking giant Facebook and market leader Juicyfruit:

facebook vs juicy fruit

Filed under: They're all fake, idiot

New Take on Social Networking Grows Business

time Posted June 16, 2008

Social Networking is a term thrown around preeeettty losely these days.  We here at TechFaux are in no short supply of Twitters, and Friendsters, Dogsters, or even Facebooks to talk about.  There are so many that, to be honest, this humble blogger tends to avoid the topic whenever possible.  But, there are always those diamonds in the rough, those ones that stand right out and scream: a million dollars, a million f*cking dollars!

Such was the case when I sat down with social entrepreneur John Thompson in Corning, NY, where he and his company, LazyBean, have set up what turned out to be quite the social platform.

TF: So, how did you guys get started?

John: Well, it was a pretty simple concept really.  Get people to interact with each other in ways they weren’t accustomed to, with the end goal of improving their quality of relationships, and quality of life.

Read more »

Filed under: Interviews

Microsoft: Yahoo is a Poopy-Head.

time Posted June 14, 2008

This just in from the WebCo Cafateria:

TechFaux has it from a super duper inside source at Microsoft’s house that Google’s brothers best friends college roommate’s summer fling heard from Yahoo’s sisters boyfriend that Yahoo’s Mom said that she didn’t want Yahoo playing with those baddie Microsoft kids anymore.

Said Microsoft in response to this startling revelation:

Yahoo is a stupid, smelly, poppy-head who is afraid of her own shadow.  If I saw Yahoo right now I would punch her right out of her stockings, and steal the lunch money she dosen’t have because nobody loves her and she is a big dummy.

After making this statement Microsoft was immediately sent to the corner for a ten-minute time out to think about what she said.

Meanwhile, Google, who has never gotten along with Microsoft or Yahoo, made what analysts are calling a very mature gesture of friendship to the crying Yahoo, offering it some pudding and making faces at Microsoft for the rest of the day.

In related news, Facebook and MySpace both had to miss recess today.  Analysts estimate they will continue to sit out from the coveted playtime until the can learn how to share.

Filed under: Real News

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