The blogosphere is buzzing today over the valuations of many online social networks and what kind of validity these premoney valuations actually have.

In essence, the arguments break down as such:

1. We should value social networks in relation to the cash sale of Myspace
2. We should value social networks in relation to the premoney valuation of Facebook
3. We should value social networks in relation to corporate giant LinkedIn

However, Techfaux is again one step ahead of your other news sources.

Today we sat down with Kevin Numans of Goldmun Sahks and discussed a revolutionary new way to evaluate social networks.  His theory?  Juicy Fruit.

Why should Juicy Fruit be the foundation of reference for social network value?  “Easy,” says Numans.  “Juicy Fruit has made more money than all of those social networks combined.  You need to base reference variables on the foundation of a large, proven number in order to obtain accuracy with any sample statistic.”

Seems fair enough, since Juicy Fruit was recently purchased by Warren Buffet for the amount of $23 billion dollars.

Below are two of Numans’ presentation slides (click to enlarge) illustrating both previously-sold and premoney social networks, in accordance to their relationship to what he’s calling Juicyfruitality.

This graph depicts the value of a previously-sold Twhirl according to the laws of Juicyfruitality:

And here’s a side-by-side comparison of social networking giant Facebook and market leader Juicyfruit:

Social Networking is a term thrown around preeeettty losely these days.  We here at TechFaux are in no short supply of Twitters, and Friendsters, Dogsters, or even Facebooks to talk about.  There are so many that, to be honest, this humble blogger tends to avoid the topic whenever possible.  But, there are always those diamonds in the rough, those ones that stand right out and scream: a million dollars, a million f*cking dollars!

Such was the case when I sat down with social entrepreneur John Thompson in Corning, NY, where he and his company, LazyBean, have set up what turned out to be quite the social platform.

TF: So, how did you guys get started?

John: Well, it was a pretty simple concept really.  Get people to interact with each other in ways they weren’t accustomed to, with the end goal of improving their quality of relationships, and quality of life.

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This just in from the WebCo Cafateria:

TechFaux has it from a super duper inside source at Microsoft’s house that Google’s brothers best friends college roommate’s summer fling heard from Yahoo’s sisters boyfriend that Yahoo’s Mom said that she didn’t want Yahoo playing with those baddie Microsoft kids anymore.

Said Microsoft in response to this startling revelation:

Yahoo is a stupid, smelly, poppy-head who is afraid of her own shadow.  If I saw Yahoo right now I would punch her right out of her stockings, and steal the lunch money she dosen’t have because nobody loves her and she is a big dummy.

After making this statement Microsoft was immediately sent to the corner for a ten-minute time out to think about what she said.

Meanwhile, Google, who has never gotten along with Microsoft or Yahoo, made what analysts are calling a very mature gesture of friendship to the crying Yahoo, offering it some pudding and making faces at Microsoft for the rest of the day.

In related news, Facebook and MySpace both had to miss recess today.  Analysts estimate they will continue to sit out from the coveted playtime until the can learn how to share.